The problems and irrationalities of modern male attraction are so much more obvious than female attraction they have been made fun of for centuries.
I think that, to a member of group X, the problems and complaints about members of group X will always seem to stand out as more obvious in the prevailing culture. Thus the prevalance of men and women both who dismiss the trials of the other side.
Calling a guy “sensitive” isn’t an insult when it comes from women, is it?
A more precise parallel would be calling a man “girly,” which is much more often used pejoratively than “sensitive.” An even more precise one would be being told that a group of women sees you as “one of the girls” or “like a good girlfriend.” Is that an insult? Not as intended. But the selection of that description discounts the possibility than a man can be a close friend to a woman and still be fully a man; it separates “male” and “sensitive.” When a woman seems to fit in so well in a workplace of male engineers that she’s called “one of the guys,” it suggests that a fully feminine woman could not do so; it separates “woman” and “engineer.”
Yes, which is why latter can be more effectively used as a ‘backhanded complement’ than girly.
Yup. So if you want to take it back the other way, to praise a woman for having traits traditionally considered masculine, it would be more effective to call her e.g. “strong” than “manly.”
I think that, to a member of group X, the problems and complaints about members of group X will always seem to stand out as more obvious in the prevailing culture. Thus the prevalance of men and women both who dismiss the trials of the other side.
A more precise parallel would be calling a man “girly,” which is much more often used pejoratively than “sensitive.” An even more precise one would be being told that a group of women sees you as “one of the girls” or “like a good girlfriend.” Is that an insult? Not as intended. But the selection of that description discounts the possibility than a man can be a close friend to a woman and still be fully a man; it separates “male” and “sensitive.” When a woman seems to fit in so well in a workplace of male engineers that she’s called “one of the guys,” it suggests that a fully feminine woman could not do so; it separates “woman” and “engineer.”
Yes, which is why latter can be more effectively used as a ‘backhanded complement’ than girly.
Yup. So if you want to take it back the other way, to praise a woman for having traits traditionally considered masculine, it would be more effective to call her e.g. “strong” than “manly.”